Friday, November 28, 2008

Thanksgiving was nice

I tried to have only native American foods; even the roast chicken was a White Rock, an American breed. I used bagels, corn bread, and whole wheat bread in the stuffing, along with wild rice, onions, apples, and sage. It was really good. We had made 4 bean salad the day before, so had that, and I made whole bean cranberry sauce from my frozen cranberries. It seems to be hard to find fresh cranberries some years, so I buy double whenever I see them and freeze for future use. I will make cranberry coffee cake for tomorrow's company with the leftover sauce.
Of course I made hot rolls, always my favorite part of the meal. But I made them whole wheat for the first time and used honey for sweetener. Mmmm good, and I put half of them in the freezer before the second rising, so we can have those again too.
I'm getting hungry writing this; better go have some leftovers for lunch.

The nature of insomnia

Late at night, after sleeping a few hours, I wake. I toss and turn, toss and turn. Most every night it seems as if my body has forgotten how to sleep. If I do manage to get back to sleep, I just can't get past dreaming to the good sleep. The one where your brain leaves you alone, where your muscles heal, where you prepare to make a new start in the morning.
The waking happens even if I take my prescribed sleeping pill, even if I consumed no caffeine that day, even if I have had a super stress-free day. "Why!", I cry, corny as it is. "What have I done to deserve this?"
The info says this insomnia comes with the fibromyalgia, but I think it CAUSES the fibromyalgia. The less you sleep, the less healing your muscles get, even from normal life, and as they are more stressed from being unable to heal at night, the more pain and less sleep and even less healing and even more pain, etc, etc.
But I remember being in the grip of insomnia when I had active Crohn's Disease too, only nobody ever said anything about fibromyalgia. There was enough pain from the the Crohn's to mask the muscle pain from anything else. So, which came first?
Sometimes that seems to be the only thing to be grateful for. What? Fibromyalgia is better than active Crohn's Disease, that's what.

Campaign Silo » Arizona Gets Busy Boycotting Over Equal Marriage Rights

Campaign Silo » Arizona Gets Busy Boycotting Over Equal Marriage Rights

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Enviroblog: Hidden food allergens: Label reading ain\'t what it used to be

Enviroblog: Hidden food allergens: Label reading ain't what it used to be

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Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Disappointment again

Today I was informed that LOTS of people, full-time people, with LOTS of seniority and experience have also applied for the job I am trying to get, and that also the job itself if probably going to be downgraded to a part-time position anyway, since the resale of rental cars is wayyyy down. And on, and on. What do I want out of a job? Well, I said, I want to be busy; I want to have lots and lots to do; I love paperwork and computer work and I am smart and efficient, etc.
None of that makes any difference.
Forget it; get over it; look elsewhere.

Saturday, November 01, 2008

Quick note

I can't believe it has been so long since I posted. I should probably start copying to this blog every time I write a long chatty email to anybody. I DID do that for a while but got to thinking maybe people wouldn't like seeing their letters on the net. I have so little time these days I am neglecting everything I used to do on a regular basis. It wouldn't be so bad if DH's promise to take care of everything else if I started back to work full-time or close to it was being kept. That's just a roundabout way of saying that HE ISN'T DOING ANYTHING!!!!
His excuse is that he and Diana have been working 2 or 3 days every week. Yeah, soooo???
It just irritates me that when we both go to work I have to do everything just like I was staying home all day. He does do a few things if he is going to be home all day, but NOT stuff like toilets, watering plants, vacuuming, making bread. What does that leave? Well, he will feed the chickens, but only if he isn't going anywhere. ANd sometimes he will do the dishes, but generally not until after I get home. I guess he thinks I won't be grateful he did them unless I am here while he is doing it. He does make supper as long as nothing has to be chopped or grated. Those things I have to do. And all that is still as long as he didn't go anywhere. If we both went , I have to do it all even when we both get home. After all, he is tired.
Duh, am I not tired?

Sorry for the tirade. Sometimes I get to feeling a bit overwhelmed, and it doesn't help that I have halved my Zoloft dosage again, to 25 mg. I MUST get off of it before my health insurance runs out. And my other meds too, but one at a time please.