Now he is insisting on eating NOW, not even 7 yet, and accusing me of overcooking the stew. Killing myself is beginning to look like a better solution all the time.
Saturday, October 17, 2015
Saturday, October 10, 2015
Here I am in Buckeye again. Why does he want to get rid of me so badly? I just can't understand why hw puts so much effort into driving me away? He says I drink too much wine but since,when is 3 glasses of wine of an evening too much? Hell. The wine helps him, since it keeps me from fighting back against his sheer meanness and everyday nastiness? Its really the only thing that allows me to stand living with him.
Tuesday, October 06, 2015
Saturday, August 29, 2015
I bought a gaited tobiano mare that I am very happy with. She is talented and athletic but not very friendly. She hates to be fussed with but takes good care of herself and me. Sophie Sapphire will be with me until I die or cant ride anymore, whichever comes first.
My marriage relationship is very strained right now. Actually, it has become more and more strained, first since he retired 8 years ago, and REALLY strained since I retired a year ago. I tell myself that he will eventually stop thinking he needs to control absolutely everything but I dont have much hope. Control is what he is all about. Even riding together. We have to go when, where, how fast, what direction HE decides, or I will pay. And emotional abuse is his family specialty, honed to a fine edge over the years. I am not allowed to ride alone. The only way I can get any conditioning done at faster than a quarter horse jog is ride with someone else.