Tuesday, February 21, 2017


I think I have finally figured it out. He is trying to drive me to suicide so that he won't have to split up our community property if/when I leave him.
This continual emotional abuse is hard to take. He wants me near him all the time and has horrible fits when I try to do anything on my own. Especially and including trying to sew.
And yet sewing is necessary for my emotional health. Wait, no wonder it is forbidden.

Saturday, February 04, 2017

Sustained torture

Can I hold out until he starts having strokes? I have tried to think so, especially as the screaming, spitting, and foaming at the mouth rages have any increased. But I am no longer sure I can do it. He is so far gone that he wants to throw me out now, with surgery in the nextonth, and he has decided that HE will decide what kind of surgery, and HE will have me declared incompetent, because "he can no longer control me". It would be such a relief to live elsewhere, ANY elsewhere, but I am so depressed and unhappy I haven't been able to do anything about it.


I believe he is actually trying to throw me out even BEFORE my next cancer surgery. I have found that hard to believe even for him but the last couple of days' behavior  are definitely pointing that way.