So that  is only 34 years that I was treated badly and put up with it. Big deal.
What people need to realize is that it was NEVER all bad, at least not until the last 4 years. Narcissists choose the strongest, most vibrant personalities to destroy because that gives them the most kick. "Wow, I am really wonderful. Look what a great person I have subjugated and destroyed.!"
 In order to do that, the y have to give you enough positive to keep you in the marriage. If they miscalculate the target (you, me), and you get away, they have failed. And that is an unthinkable outcome.